Well, it seems I've garnered an ample amount of disdain (due to the immaturity I displayed in the past, regarding commissions and clients).
I don't want to start making excuses like, "I didn't feel I was good enough at the time, so that's why I didn't do your work" or "I am too busy". The truth is that I had been commissioned because people have liked my work at that time, so there was no excuse that I had to get better to do the work; they would've liked it all the same. And I had small pockets of time to do the work, even though I was going through a lot of crap, I still could've done them.
And I don't know, maybe what was going on through my life really had an effect on my artwork. I felt like I wasn't good enough, because life was treating me like I wasn't good enough. All the artists seemed like they had nothing to deal with 'cuz they were pushing work back to back, just like my RL friends had consistent jobs and a nice life going for them at the time. I was, most likely, just broken.
Still, it's no reason to deal that type of thinking towards my clients. And I suffered because of that.
I couldn't focus on my own work, and couldn't even do things I wanted to do. And that's not meant in the whiny tone, but just a point blank fact. Over the course of time, I fell into relapses everytime I had a spurt of artistic power. And those relapses have gotten bigger each time I fell into them, and it ended up turning me into an artistic vegetable. Only recently have I been able to break those relapses, and even more recent that I'm taking this art thing a bit more serious than I previously claimed.
I know I may have broken some long-term relationships doing what I done, and some have still given me the benefit of the doubt. Which is okay on both terms. I appreciate those who forgave me and continue to hire me, but I also deserve those relationships to be broken.
But anyway, this is just a public apology to all those who have at once before felt offended by my immaturity in the past. And I ask if you people can forgive me. You don't have to, but I hope you can.